These are Those...

In an attempt to follow Theophrastus of Eressos:

This is the Bad Mother

A bad mother is one who gives birth at a young age and and later forgets about her motherly duties. She acknowledges her children and refuses to give them to good homes, yet she plays hard with her friends, leaving to drink at the taverns and bars and to sleep around with random men while her children stay at home. She will leave her children with relatives and not come back until the next morning, knowing that her children cry for her embrace in the night. She will allow her friends to come and go into the household, bringing prostitutes and Johns and drugs and things to smoke, her children will know their first swearwords from this mother. She will allow men to treat her children in inappropriate manners and when confronted, she will deny any inappropriateness and possibly receive payment for this inappropriateness. She will beat her children to death or allow others to beat them or give them drugs and alcohol. She will not teach her children the word 'respect' or ‘happiness’ or 'courage.' She will allow her children to grow up wondering who they are, where they came from, what about them is so horrible and why they are so afraid. She will drink and wallow in filth and scream at her children for doing things that they were never taught not to do, and she will only care about herself until she is old, beat and alone, finally reaching out to her children not because she is sorry and has changed, but because she hates her solitude.

This is the Back Stabbing Friend

She will befriend you to know all of your secrets, your strengths and weaknesses. She will use you as she sees fit and make you feel as if you are important in her heart. She will laugh about you with others and when confronted, blame everyone else. She will at the right moment, find the way to hurt you deeply by spilling your precious secrets, your small weaknesses or your biggest mistakes, only to laugh at you in the process and claim that she was never your friend. She will accuse you of making the mistakes while she laughs with the others, leaving you hurt and wondering why you were such a bad person.

This is the Idiot

An idiot can be a bad mother or a bad friend or a person you meet on the street. This is the kind of person who swerves into your lane and doesn’t apologize, for watching you walk out a door with full hands and not offering to hold the door open. This is the person who watches you drop your groceries while they keep walking, who sees you fall in the street and laughs as they continue past. They do not know you but pretend to know you well, and they assume that they are clairvoyant by telling others what you yourself are thinking. An idiot refuses to see the world in any person’s perspective other than their own, and they will most likely try to hurt you before they will concede to you. In fact, an idiot claims to know what every person is thinking, and they will be happy to go around giving their opinions about why so and so is upset today or why this person is happy and what you are thinking in your own quiet mind, all the while laughing at you as you try to pick yourself up off the ground.

This is the Fool

The fool will love any of the above still, no matter what.

We'll Henna you in Your Face!!

Just kidding, we won't, but Lacey and I went and got some henna done at the Minnesota State Fair. Yes, I'm from Minnesota, that's right. I was stolen from my homeland by a bald Wisconsin White boy...but more on that later...

What has the married life been like? Same. Sam hasn't gotten his wedding ring yet because he's been so busy working 10 hour days and getting ready for his big trip. He left last night to drive to Colorado to hunt elk with three buddies. He will not be back for a week from tomorrow! What am I to do with myself? What have we been up to since you last saw us? Wait, hold on, my nails are too long and they're driving me nuts while I'm trying to type....

Ok, got them trimmed. Can't type with long nails. Anyway...made a trip back up to Minnesota last weekend to hang out with my mom and Lacey. It seems my brother Joey had won a trip to Hawaii from work and he and his wife Pa Chia were out there vacationing. I hung out with Lacey the whole weekend, we painted, we monkeyed around. I took her to the Minnesota State Fair with me to see my pal Tracy perform in her horse troope. Sadly, we couldn't find Tracy amidst the millions of riders and horses, and no one knew where she was. So, Lacey and I only walked around the fair for a few hours and stopped and got some henna tattoos:




That was fun, but we were dorks and pulled the drying henna off our skin before it was time, and now the tattoos are already faded. Dorks. Yes, we, the dorks are proud of our dorkiness.

What other pics do I have for you?? Here's a nice one of Sam and Richie hanging out at the good ole' Junction Pub. I'm a little hesitant to talk about all of my hang out spots on here because apparently the ex-husband's new girl has her family spying on us. Yeah, her name is Madelyn Nygren. For a fun time, e-mail madelyn.nygren@gmail.com. Apparently she likes to steal other people's husbands and then stalk these guys's ex-wives? I really wish she would leave me alone.......Anyways, here's Sam and Richie, this is a great pic...


Oh, and another funny story, Sam and I were driving into work last week and a bird flew right into the front of our car. We thought it was pretty hilarious and just kept on driving. I dropped Sam off and went to work. At the end of the day, I went to pick him up and we drove the 30 miles home only to find a nice treat in the grill of our car. Oh the laughs, the laughs. Since Sam and I find the stupidest things funny, this one was no different....


Poor bird.

Hey YOU from Roscoe, Illinois

Yeah, I'm talking to YOU. You either live in Roscoe or a neighboring city of Roscoe. I was in your ugly town the other day, and I saw YOU spying on me. I'm so glad that I could be the light of your day as well as your family's! I hope you're entertained by my little life, and if not, oh well! Enjoy yours loser!